Surviving the zombie apocalypse

Corporate Life

I thought this topic would be timely given today's date. With the recent success of AMC's "The Walking Dead" and all the current zombie hubub (got hooked recently on Zombie Gunship for iPad), I began to realize that there's a lot of parallel strategies to surviving in the corporate world and staying ahead of the zombie horde. Here's my list of suggested strategies for your continued well-being when the flesh-eaters propagate (or when the next staff reduction comes around).

1. Be prepared. It goes without saying that a little bit of preparation may save your ass in the end. It's the simple things like having an earthquake survival kit that might arm you with enough supplies to get out of town before the eating gets good. Learning how to use a gun would be a good one too - you don't want to make "forgot to take off the safety" your last, colossal mistake on this mortal earth. It's like the corporate world - there's a bunch of little things that you can do to make sure you're not at the bottom of the food chain. Stay educated. Know your products and offers. Understand the processes. Those that don't are usually the first to go.
2. Keep moving. Staying put means it's just easier for that roving band of zombies to find you. You'll need to use your days seeking out food, drinkable water and a safe refuge for the evening. Unless you can find an impenetrable bunker with enough supplies to survive the Armageddon, you'll always be on the move. Of course, in the real world, staying put is usually equated with stagnation, which puts you at the bottom of the list mentioned in #7. That doesn't mean changing jobs every few years, but perhaps you change how you approach things, or re-invent the role to adapt to the environment.
3. Surround yourself with smart people. You want to be closest to the guy who knows the most about surviving in the wilderness or can McGyver his way out of any situation when the apocalypse comes. Pretty girls and "red shirts" are only good for zombie fodder. Same goes at work. Seriously. Oh and BTW, just in case you were thinking it, there is always someone smarter than you.
4. Share your unique value. Just as you'll want smart people around you to help you survive, they'll want something in return. What can you contribute in the world's darkest hours? Maybe it's being able to make an edible meal out of squirrel and some gathered berries. In the real world, you're more likely to get help from those who have bigger brains than yours, by making sure you bring something to the table for them. Perhaps it's "feedback from the field" or simply making their lives less difficult.
5. Learn how to blend in with the surroundings. Why does the damsel always create distress by making noise or starting up the ferris wheel with all the blinking lights? Zombies are attracted to light and sound, of course. Your job is to not get noticed by them as they are on the way to the buffet. It's like that guy at work who makes a lot of noise and stands out in the crowd - it's not necessarily a good thing to demonstrate how unprepared or stupid you really are.
6. Be a leader. Even smart people sometimes need to be told what to do. In fact in my experience, it seems that the smarter they are, the more they need a leader. We're not talking all the time - just when the screaming starts and everyone panics, make sure that someone capable is controlling your destiny... that could be you. This doesn't mean that at the office you should be superseding your bosses authority, but as a previous manager of people, it was nice to have guys on the team that would step up once in a while.
7. Make sure you can outrun the guy next to you. There's a lot of debate as to whether zombies can run fast, or if they lack the motor skills to put up a really good chase. But you may never have to find out, as long as you aren't the first one on they catch. Same goes for the rest of the employees at the office - when the inevitable "stack-ranking" comes around each year, make sure you're not at the bottom.

In the end, the last recommendation is probably the most important - reinforcing the Zombieland Rule #1: Cardio.

Musings from the Scotch Lounge

Corporate Life

(Originally posted on my last day of work at Sun, I did not post this to my public version, but now that the years have passed, and Sun is gone, I thought it would be ok to re-post this now. Names changed or removed to protect the innocent.)

There's been enough of you that have been down here, that you know what I mean when I say, "I'm sitting in Rico's Scotch Lounge". So here I am, engulfed in my leather club chair, sipping on a 28-year-old Convalmore (thanks guys!), pondering my last day at Sun and my 9-year legacy.

As you saw from the note I sent to the masses, it's been tremendous fun working here with you guys. Some have not been around long enough to bear witness to the now legendary events (e.g. Spondivits, various Sunrise shenanigans, kickoffs in San Diego and Montreal), and not all were at the beer tasting fiasco down in Yaletown (which we never received the bill for, BTW). But I know that there will be many new stories, and a raft of events that will become your new, cherished legends. So that's what this blog note (blote?) is all about - not looking backward, but forward. As I said to our sales director in an e-mail a few weeks ago, this isn't about me, but rather about you (i.e. Sun Canada, or in this case, the TELUS team), and keeping everyone moving forward toward your common goal.

You guys all know I am a geek at heart - I watched every episode of Star Trek as a kid, and yes, I have a downloaded copy of the entire original 3-year series. It's actually the concept of the Borg that springs to mind here - the "Collective" and the power that they had together, instead of the sum of the individual contributors. I, as an individual, am not what has made Sun successful at TELUS; it's you - all of you, working together as a team that have been the winning combination. Truly, I have you to thank for my success at Sun - and some who are no longer here too. But the point is, that taking out a single Borg has minimal impact, as the combined entity of the Collective is virtually unstoppable. Our results this year proved that when the past leader left, we were still more than capable of winning as a team; my departure will be no different.

There's a scene near the beginning of the movie Enemy at the Gate, where Jude Law, as a young Vasily Zaytsev, is amongst the thousands of Red Army soldiers tasked with repelling the Nazis from Stalingrad. They are lined up to get their guns, but since weapons are limited, only every other infantryman gets a rifle. A sergeant shouts over a megaphone, "When the man with the rifle goes down, the man behind him picks up the rifle and shoots!". Ok, so I don't want you to pick up the wrong metaphor here - I did not get "shot"; you all know that. No, the relevant analogy is that the next guy picks up where the other guy left off, without hesitation. You can't stop to check on how he is, take him back to the command post for triage, or re-group to change your attack plan. No, you keep moving forward, utilizing the same strategy. I've used other military comparisons in past blogs; in this situation, it's even more apropos.

Your enemy (the competition) is going to look for weaknesses during times of leadership change, and try to exploit those areas. Your job is to fill the gaps, stay on the offensive, and keep them on their heels. When I last checked, we are at over 105% of plan - now is the time to start lobbing grenades into Nazi territory and attacking with all your vigour! Take no prisoners! For those of you not up on your history, the Russians defeated the Germans in Stalingrad, and their victory was a key turning point in the war.

Keep up the fight.

Rich

Why wait for the deluge?

Corporate Life

Being in Vancouver, you really have to expect a good, solid, three months or so of rain. Not that "wrath-of-god" rain for 40 days and 40 nights stuff, but some serious, never-dry-out, mushroom-growing, chill-you-to-the-bone kind of rain. It happens every year, and despite some short reprieves (like last year during the Olympics), you pretty much have to hunker down and get through it. That's why it always amazes me when every year, I see a number of houses in the neighborhood with the big blue tarp on the roof.

I know, it's not exactly cheap to re-roof - trust me, I've done it. But these are $1.7m+ (update: now closer to $3m) properties, and I find it shocking that folks won't spend the small fraction of their investment on a new roof to protect the integrity of their home. What are they hoping for? That the leak will repair itself? Or that maybe, just maybe, it won't rain this winter? If you end up waiting too long, the water gets in, and it goes everywhere - into the walls, joists, floors etc. Rotting wood compromises the entire structure of the house, and of course, causes mold growth and all sorts of health issues that come along with it. By waiting, these homeowners are simply forced into doing the work when the deluge does inevitably come, and the roofing company is charging a premium for their services.

It's like the classic issue I see at companies all the time. Everyone whispers about "that" employee that "is waiting for a retirement package", or "isn't able to adapt to change easily". "he used to be really good at it", or "he just needs a little more direction". But... but what? He's not cutting the mustard anymore. Why is everyone making excuses for him? Because he was great during the heyday? Bobby Orr was a hockey god, but I think he's past his prime now (ok, even if he had good knees). Everyone will experience this. I am just hoping that I figure it out on my own, before I get the tap on the shoulder, "Hey man, I think you're done here". But no, I see it all the time... everyone knows there's a problem, but for some reason, management is waiting for something to fix itself. And then finally, some financial or business crisis occurs, and push comes to shove, and the person in question is finally sent home. Would it have been better if this was actioned on a sunny day perhaps, when there were other resources available, or the organisation wasn't under intense scrutiny to deliver?

And therein lies the message from tonight's scotch lounge blog - fix the problem when you identify it, not when it becomes critical, and ultimately more costly to fix.

"Some of us were not meant to be soldiers..."

Corporate Life

Long time no post. I'll admit that now that this blog is in the public domain, it concerns me somewhat that my ramblings can or could be misconstrued, and perhaps have a ripple effect that I did not intend. But alas, one cannot remain silent forever.

Recently, we made some organizational changes, and as is inevitable with all of these kinds of cultural transitions, some folks "went home". The funny thing is, that everyone talks about the individuals that are/were involved - hoping, indeed praying - that management will see their way through to making the changes for the better good of the company. But when change is actually executed, people say, "oh, that's too bad... ", or "they would have been able to come around eventually". Sure, no one wants to see anyone experience personal hardship or suffer from the emotional turmoil caused by a rapid departure. But deep down, everyone knows it's the right thing to do. But if there was more at stake than winning a deal, or getting a commission cheque, would we be so sympathetic?

Ephilates, demonstrating his thrust technique to Leonidas

Take King Leonidas - the famous Spartan who led 300 of his men at the Battle of Thermopylae. On the eve of battle, he is confronted by Ephialtes of Trachis, a hunchback who would like nothing other than to serve (and die) as a Spartan. While Ephialtes has the heart of a warrior, and quite probably could hold his own in individual combat, he lacks the physical ability to augment and protect the team. Leonidas explains that the phalanx is the source of the Spartan strength; a single weak spot in the formation, and the phalanx shatters. Since Ephialtes is unable to raise his shield over his head, he cannot protect the Spartan next to him, and essentially becomes a liability to the entire unit. While Leonidas is sympathetic to Ephialtes' will to fight, he must let him go; if he were to allow Ephialtes into his infantry, he puts everyone at risk.

Ok, so no one is going to be killed by the invading Persians in a business environment, but these days, we all have far few resources, time and energy to put into questioning or apologizing for the changes that we need to make to be successful. Sometimes, we need to simply accept that there are those that we can't afford to have on the team when their abilities or negative energies detract from the strength of the overall unit.

Oh, and in the legend of the 300 Spartans, Ephialtes seeks revenge for being spurned by Leonidas, and shows the Persians a secret path to attack the Spartans from behind. The Spartans are surrounded and everyone is massacred. Let's hope legend doesn't hold true in this case.

Being comfortable in your own personal universe

Corporate Life

In a previous blog, I spoke about some introspective thoughts that "Shane" gave me. My parting thought was about finding the right team, and getting them to stay put long enough to extract value for the customer and the company. But at the same time, we've got to keep their career interests at mind, right? But promoting someone for the sake of promotion doesn't always work either. Some of the worst managers I can think of were great sales reps at one time. No, Shane's advice was to find the guy that is happy to play their position.

Ok, his perspective requires a bit more explanation. There's people out there that where their "personal universe" (that's my term for it) only extends to limit of their skill/capabilities. There's also folks out there, where they can see further into their universe than their CV can take them - i.e. they have higher aspirations than they should. In Shane's line of business, his challenge is to find someone who is very capable of controlling a $200M company, but isn't going to get a bruised ego when Shane comes into town, shuffles things around, and then leaves. No, Shane's ideal candidate is the guy that can stay within the confines of his universe, and be happy in it.

This train of thought doesn't mean that we should be putting blinders on the folks on our respective teams, but it does imply a level of complacency. I'm not talking about the ones at this company that are already semi-retired (you know what I'm talking about, and likely even know a few of them). No, I mean the ones who can do a great job, and yet don't feel constrained by the confines of their personal universe.

I'll give you an example in another business world. A good friend of mine, Kenny, is a plumber - a very successful plumber, mind you. He is so busy, that he finds that there is much more work than he can handle himself. Problem is, how do you find another plumber, that doesn't think, "I can do this on my own - why am I only getting a salary from this guy?". But he did manage to find another plumber (Ben) who is happy to drive the second van, do the work, but doesn't aspire to have his own plumbing company. Kenny got a very competent professional, that can independently handle work, and he doesn't have to micro-manage him, and is not concerned that in 6 months that he will jump ship for the next job or opportunity; i.e. Ben is comfortable in his own personal universe. If only we had it as easy as Kenny.

Originally Posted on: Feb 03, 2008

Pick your {insert role} carefully

It snowed again today in Vancouver. I say again, because it doesn't usually snow often here (maybe once or twice every couple of years), but this is probably our fifth snowfall this year. When it does snow however, it brings the Lower Mainland to its knees. Schools close, highways turn into parking lots, and business comes to a crippling halt. But the wonders of internet technology, SSL connections and VPN clients allow us to work from the comforts of home, without having to brave the elements. Ok, so maybe a quick trip to Starbucks is allowed. As I get caught up on e-mail, I thought I'd use the solitude of my home office to get back on the blog.

I spent a couple of days this weekend up at Whistler skiing with a business associate (let's call him "Shane") - let's just say that that this guy is so successful, that it makes my job pale by comparison. His base salary as CEO is probably over $500k/year, and his business endeavours look to double his company's investment in a year. Double. Buy a company for something less than 2x revenues, refresh the management structure and strategy, then sell it a couple of years later for double. I can't even imagine what the commission/bonus is on that.

I'm not going through this to depress you. But when you spend time with someone who has this kind of perspective, it makes the "multi-threaded performance of an UltraSPARC T1 vs. T2" seem a little insignificant. Needless to say, he had lots of insightful management thoughts and sound bites.

One of the best ones Shane said was, "Don't work for someone who has done the job before you - you'll never live up to the expectations they have". Brilliant. It may not always work out that you can pick a position where your manager hasn't been in that role, but it certainly makes sense. You could do everything perfectly, and even over-achieve your target, but if you aren't doing what he/she did when they had the job, you're probably not doing enough.

It's kind of a different spin on ex-CEO Jonathan Schwartz's advice, "Pick your managers carefully". That was the advice he gave us last time we saw him in Menlo, when someone asked what suggestions would you have for new managers at the company. My own philosophy on this, is to pick the right people for direct reports - you hire smart people for your team, and you'll be successful. But there's a tricky balance of having a person who is competent yet content to stay in their role for a while. We all want our folks to be successful too, but that might mean staying put long enough to drive value for the company... too much movement creates chaos. Remember that we're trying to reverse entropy here, right?

Originally Posted on: Jan 29, 2008

Change comes fast

Corporate Life

Let's face it, no one likes change. But hey, this huge world around us is in a constant state of flux, and as the theme of this blog suggests, you need to do something about it eventually, or you'll be faced with an ever increasing mound of chaos.

But change, and being able to react and adapt to change, has become one of the most important things these days. Sure, a long time ago, you might have been able to go an entire lifetime without ever having to change. You would have gotten up in the morning, tightened up your loincloth, grabbed your spear, and gone out looking for something to kill with the rest of the boys. Next morning, same thing. Following morning, same thing. And then one day, you either didn't wake up (unlikely), or one of those edible things that you were trying to kill, put you on the dinner menu instead (more likely). However, many, many generations later, it got cold, and the hunting went for crap, so your offspring had to follow the herds South in order to feed the family and keep from freezing to death. But there were probably some that resisted the move - too stubborn, too old, or too slow to react - and those knuckle-draggers paid for their obstinacy with their lives.

Today, those external forces that require us to make change come at us much more frequently, and from so many more angles. As I had written about before, technology brings issues and challenges to us faster, but it also allows us to react more quickly to them. As an example, I went looking for something today that might have taken weeks to find out or confirm through our competitive analysis team, but instead uncovered the answer in a matter of minutes with a quick Google search. Rather than wait for someone to present me the data, or get in queue for an answer that might never have come, I chose to act instead. Was it my job to become a competitive analyst? Probably not. But to exceed the ever-increasing goals set out for each of us, we need to find new ways to adapt and react. We all have to do more with less, and do jobs that were previously outside our scope of work. If we were all to let our past behaviour dictate our future actions, we will surely fail.

End result? We all have to move at a pace of change that we previously thought was not possible, or risk being left behind in the cold.